1. Develop Routines
2. Reduce Friction
3. Re-Inspire

Today we'll talk about routines.

Develop Routines

I think the first step to helping children practice is acknowledging that developing good habits are extremely difficult for us, too. Each time I try to enact a goal for myself that requires daily effort, I love imagining the end state but I struggle to fulfill the daily habits I need to do to reach it. Exercise, healthy eating, prayer... 

Consider this: The last time you set a goal for yourself and had a really good streak following a daily habit you set for yourself, how did it happen? What was happening in your life? What did you set in place for yourself that helped you stick to your habit?

I'm guessing one thing that helped you was developing a routine and tracking your progress in a simple, predictable way.

In his book, Atomic Habits, James Clear put it this way: "You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems."

As violin parents, one of the most helpful things we can do for our children is to systemize practicing.

That might mean that practicing happens around the same time every day. We come home from school. We eat a snack. We practice.

It might mean lining up practicing with whatever time of the day your child is naturally most awake and calm. We wake up. We have breakfast. We practice. Then we start school.

It might mean tucking practice into the routine right before something they always enjoy, which sets up a natural "work then play" reward. We come home from school. We eat a snack. We practice. Then we get to go outside and play.

Note: Practicing requires focus and patience. It's difficult for children to stop a fast-paced activity (like running at the playground) and immediately switch to a slow-paced activity like standing in one place practicing an instrument. Try reserving the fast-paced activity as a reward for after practice time. Or, if you find they do better burning off some energy first, try adding a mid-paced transition activity in between (like eating a non-sugary snack while sitting at the table) that naturally helps them make the switch to a calmer mode for practice time.

You can also systemize how you practice, and see if you and your child can produce a win-win routine for practice time itself.

For example, my two-year-old daughter wants to pluck the strings her own way while singing her favorite songs. I want her to enjoy exploring this instrument and love playing music, so as long as she follows these two rules, she gets to do that:

1. We practice our pieces first. It's always the same routine: We bow ("1, 2, 3, up!"). We pluck See Saw. We bow again. We play See Saw with the violin bow. We practice bowing one more time, just like we would at the end of a concert. She's motivated to accomplish this "hard part" of practice time because she knows she'll get to explore her own music afterwards.
2. We're always gentle with the violin. After practicing her pieces, she gets to explore the violin as long as she wants, so long as she's gentle with the instrument. Often we'll even get in a little bonus practicing because she doesn't mind me fixing her position a little bit, especially when there's an obvious result ("Wow, when you bow this way, you get a lot of sound!"). 

Develop simple rewards:

The desire to practice anything naturally goes through ebbs and flows.

When your child first starts the violin, she might initially feel a lot of enthusiasm for practicing, but eventually it starts to wane as the novelty wears off. This is a great time to introduce a chart, where the child gets to track her practicing. This works not only for young children, but for older children and adults as well. 

Personally, I used this most in middle school. My mom tells the story that I went through a period where I really didn't want to practice. My parents did several things that helped (I'll cover the others later), but one of them was introducing a practicing chart. 

While our ultimate hope for our children (and for ourselves) is to practice out of intrinsic joy (and yes, this is possible!), sometimes we need some extra help along the way.

Here are two approaches to practicing charts that you can try:

1. Your child can track how many days in a row he practices (a streak tracker), or
2. Your child can simply fill up a chart with each unit of practice time, however long it may take, and receive a reward at the end (a reward chart).

Streak Tracker

For the first one, a streak tracker might be as simple as a chart showing each day of the week, which you print out and put on the wall in a conspicuous place. Younger children might receive a sticker on thechart for each day of practice. Each week your child gets to try to fill it up, and even if it isn't full you can still celebrate "lots of stickers" as a win. "Last week was busy; we only practiced three days. But wow, this week we practiced SIX days! What would you like to do with the six stickers you earned this week?"

Older children might still enjoy a sticker or just getting to put a big check mark on the chart. Though they might do the tracking themselves, I still suggest putting the tracker in a conspicuous place on the wall. There's something about an incomplete chart, seen all the time, that produces a natural itch to complete it. When I really want to motivate myself and track my own daily habit goal, I still put a conspicuous chart on the wall.

If you'd like to try this first approach, here's a link to a violin practicing streak tracker I made in a few different colors. Please let me know if you have any problems downloading it.

Reward Chart

The other option, as mentioned, is to simply fill up a chart with successfully completed practice increments, regardless of date. This is what I did in middle school. The chart had 20 boxes, and my mom and I agreed that each box would represent 30 minutes of practicing. I remember putting a dolphin sticker on the chart for each practicing increment. The 30 minutes might be spread over two days or I might be really inspired one day and fill up three or four boxes in one day. At the end, I got to enjoy some small reward we'd agreed on in advance. Once it felt "too easy" to fill the chart, we agreed to make each box represent an hour.

For very young students, a successful practice might be just four or five minutes; long enough to work through See Saw, improve the violin position, and bow to a pretend audience (to prepare for our concerts). Maybe you add in an extra minute of clapping some fun rhythms at the end.

If you'd like to try this second approach, here's a link to a practicing reward chart I made as well.

When Routine is Impossible

We've all been there. Someone gets sick. You go on a trip. You have a new baby. Sometimes routine is impossible. 

When this happens, don't fret the routine. Use the trackers and focus on small wins. 

Maybe you're going on a road trip and you can bring the violins. If a practice session was 15 minutes to get a sticker on a normal day, maybe on the trip it's just 5 minutes. 

It's always better to do a little practicing than none at all.

Your Turn

Do you have any practicing strategies or routines that are working well in your family, whether for violin or something else? Please let me know! I would love to compile as many useful ideas as possible, because when it comes to developing positive habits we're all in this together, even the adults :)